Cecil’s bad break

On Monday October 4th 0f 2021 just last week started of as a normal day getting the house in order and getting things ready to go. As I was mopping the floors my beautiful rottie, Cecil was laying behind me on the floor. I gave him a little nudge and asked him to move so I could mop where he was. As he was trying to get up his back paws slipped and he screamed in pain. The sound of a dog screaming is something I never want to experience again in my life time and I wouldn’t wish for anyone to hear it, it’s agonizing, frightening and traumatizing. I immediately knew he needed to go to the ER clinic. Being a rottie he was a big boy and now in agonizing pain he was unable to walk down the stairs. After about 20 mins we finally came up with a way to make a “gurney” out of a crib spring mattress box, rug and blanket and got him to see the ER vet. The entire ride I was devastated in back with him just imagining all the possible injuries. We got to the ER clinic and they took him back right away. As the hrs passed my anxiety grew, just hoping, thinking and praying that it was going to be an easy fix and that he was no longer in pain and that’s when I got the phone call. The Dr. Stated that my dog had sustained a L femur fx and needed surgery. I was so upset but relieved that I had a answer as to what was going on. Only to have the real bomb dropped on me. The Dr. said that during the x rays they saw what could be a possible tumor and that’s why the bone had broken, but wasn’t a hundred percent sure and that the x ray needed to be sent to an specialist and the results would be back tomorrow morning. In the meantime Cecil would stay overnight be monitored and medicated for pain. I prayed, cried and prayed again until I fell asleep. The next morning October 5th 2021 the results came back inconclusive. Our specialist couldn’t determine if it was a tumor or just a very bad/angry fx. There was no signs of mets in the lungs and no other lumps on the bones but they couldn’t be sure until they got a biopsy. The D.r discussed my 3 options: 1. We fix the fracture, get a biopsy and wait for the results. If the results come negative then we could start the long recovery of the leg but if it came back as positive for cancer i would need to amputate. Option 2: We could amputate now and send the leg out and get the results in a few weeks and go from there or the dreaded Option 3: put him down. I knew that 3 was never an option. I spent hours trying to decide what would be best for my boy. Of course I want to save this leg but i also don’t want to put him through another traumatic situation, have surgery do the recovery process only to have it come back as cancer and need to amputate. After only having a few hrs to decide i decided to amputate and pray I made the right choice.  He came out of surgery and did very well, they kept him for 2 nights and then we got to go see him. My best friend, companion and “child” of 7 years had no L leg, instead he had a shaved back, a foot long incision, sutures and a drain site at the end of the incision. It was overwhelming and terrifying. Despite being 135 lbs and missing a leg he was up and moving. He had and still has some trouble getting up but once he up he’s like a bulldozer just ready to go, and it gave and still gives me hope that I made the right choice. The first few days were scary and hard. We cleaned out our spare room, disinfected it, brought our mattress in and placed it on the floor next to where was had him set up. We placed rugs and runners all over so we can try and avoid another injury. My boyfriend and I sleep still sleep in shifts to make sure that someone is always with him, even when he is sleeping we make sure one of us is up in case something happens. Its the 13th and still no word about the results, my anxiety is through the roof and all I can do is pray it’s not cancer and that we don’t have to deal with that horrible disease. Were still going through the recovery which is difficult. Hes draining fluid, has a low RBC and needs iron supplements, the first few days he was just constantly leaking urine d/t not wanting to pee but now he does use the stairs to get outside and is peeing without issues but hasn’t pooped yet. His right back leg is swollen and as much as im hopeful and happy that he’s here with me and we get our time together i can’t stop thinking about the what ifs. This is the hardest thing i’ve ever done. Im blessed to be able to have these moments with Cecil I cant imagine my life without him. It’s so unreal to think about the real, raw and intense bond we make with our animals. Here’s to living in the moment and taking things as they come.